COURTSHIP AND 'KNOCKING'

In modern day societies dating and courtship are very much encouraged. The reason for this is to check the compatibility status of the spouses-to-be. As much as it is the trend recently, Islam frowns upon pre-marital relations between members of the opposite sex. Engaged couples are not even allowed to go out together with the consent of parents.

In recent times, most Ghanaian Muslims have attributed the change in courtship rules to modernization. They now engage in many activities which are geared at identifying compatibility and knowing more of the person one is getting married to. Unsupervised dates, picnics and sometimes visiting of one another are the rule of the day.

Meeting of the two families

Usually after deciding on the choice for a partner, the family of the man approaches the other family to suggest a meeting. The formalization of the couples union is made open during this 'knocking' meeting. It is after this that the couple is allowed to meet each other in a chaperoned environment. In Islam, a proposal for the woman’s hand in marriage is not discouraged as it is considered to be natural and an act of dignity and respect for her.

In Ghana, after coming into agreement to get married, the man’s family usually make a trip to the woman’s to seek her hand in marriage. During this meeting between the two families, the father of the woman also gathers a few of his kinsmen to witness this event. After the intention is made, the father calls his daughter aside and asks her opinion on the matter. If she agrees, then he goes back and the formality continues.

At this juncture, a discussion ensues, with the families coming into agreement about all that needs to  be paid for and done for the marriage to take place. Matters for discussion usually include the payment of the dowry by the man, most of the time with monetary values. The dowry of a woman is dependent on her social and economic background in most Ghanaian Muslim communities. A demand for a ‘LEFE’ is also made. This usually comprises bags containing clothing, accessories, shoes, bags and other dainty items. A next meeting is then set for a later date after the demands made are met.