Tonight signifies the
official beginning of married life for the bride and groom. This day is filled
with many phases and practices that the couple will engage in. Nonetheless it
is a day of endless merrymaking and emotions for all those directly involved in
the marriage. On the part of the bride’s family, it is joyful and sad as the
mixed feelings of happiness and sadness are bound to be experienced. It’s a
time of happiness because her parents are proud to have given their child into
marriage according to the rulings of Allah and sad because their ‘little’ girl
is leaving them and starting her own life without them. For the groom it is a
realization that he has a new responsibility ahead of him and must strive to
give off his best to provide for his wife and the family they will build.
It all starts as early as dawn when the first familiar crow
of the cock is heard. The bride to be is awoken from the short sleep she might
have had and is led by an elderly lady to take a special bath. This bath is a
cleansing one and is meant to purify the girl from all previous ‘dirt’ as
according to the Sunnah. She is then given water in a pail infused with perfume
and liquefied henna to splash on her whole body from heads to toe. She then
lets it dry on her for some few minutes before cleaning her body and then
wearing her first attire of the day; a white cloth and veil signifying her new
status. Meanwhile other people in the house start preparations for the day
cooking, cleaning and getting the place of wedding ready (which is usually the
mosque). The first rite of the day is
the ‘tying’ of the marriage as it is literally called and lasts for at least
one hour. This is characterized by the family of the groom made up of mostly
men who arrive at the mosque chosen by the bride’s family for the occasion.
Usually, if the bride went to a ‘Makaranta’ or Arabic school and completed the
Holy Quran, she does ‘Walimah’ where she dresses in her white gown and goes
into the mosque where the ceremony is being held for some recitations from the
holy book to the admiration of all. Otherwise, she just stays home and the ceremony
continues without her. The wedding procession is witnessed by chosen representatives
from both families who bear witness to the wedding and who can be called on later
in case of any marital problems.
After the marriage has been officiated and prayers have been
made for the couple, food and drinks are made available to all present and the
merry making begins. The bride then is allowed to change from her white dress into
another one so as to go around greeting people present. This becomes her first
walk outside her room as a married woman and she is greeted by hoots and joyous
appellations from the crowd. Some
families demand that the bride be brought to the family house of the groom
during the day so she can be seen by the family and also celebrated. This
involves the bride assigned to a particular place where she sits and the family
of the groom from women to men coming round to shower her in money signifying
her worth to them. This is indeed a very joyful and playful sight. All this
does not take more than three hours before the bride is taken back to her house
for the ultimate farewell party.
Usually after ‘Asr’ prayers in the late afternoon (3.00pm),
the procession begins with the bride and her friends making merry in a party
like fashion. A D.J. is hired to play music to entertain the crowd present
mostly women and children. Her friends take turns coming in the center to dance
to loud music. When it is the turn of the bride dressed regally and ever so beautifully
to come and dance, the whole crowd comes around her to shower her with money.
This is a practice which takes place in most wedding ceremonies across Ghana
and it shows the love people have for the bride. She goes and comes for about
three or four times each time dressed in a different costume. This party ends
towards the evening and everyone bids her farewell and goes their separate
ways. After the tiresome day she has had, the greatest anticipation is that of
finally being taken to her husband’s house. The bride is brought in to take a
quick bath one last time before changing into another white cloth which she
will be taken in to her husband’s house.
Her mother or an elderly aunt takes her to her father for his blessings
and last advice before she meets her mom and other married women who anxiously
wait in another room to give her the last pieces of advice on how to maintain
her home, be a good wife and live an enviable married life. She is then
accompanied to her husband’s house amidst singing and crying from her and all
who will miss her. Indeed, the day has come…………
But that is not the end. Two to four days after all the
chaos and excitement of the marriage has died down, the family of the bride get
ready to go back to the new brides house. This is not just to visit but to take
all her ‘things’ to her. Kitchen ware and accessories, laundry items, bags of food,
suitcases of her dresses well as her ’lefe’, and other household items are all
taken by the women. It is also a chance for people who weren’t able to be a t
the bride’s house on the Sunday to see where she will be living. On this day
the last words of advice is given and the new bride is now left to build her home
and take good care of her husband. This is what most Islamic marriages in Ghana
are all about.
